Intro

Thanks for stopping in and reading, friends. My purpose of blogging is to keep my pregnancy things separate from other social media for the sanity and sensitivity of others. Let's face it, no one really likes a million baby updates no matter how cute they can be, and even more so when wanting, no scratch that NEEDING a baby of your own. And also because I'd like some place to share my experiences; good, bad, and indifferent as I go on this journey, as I am sure many moms-to-be have and will have experiences of. 

Back story:

I was 13 when I met this really great guy. And even more gag worthy was that he was my pen pal for over 3 years before we ever met. My husband (29) and I (27) have been married now for nearly 5 years. Having a baby was always in our plan even way before we said "I do." 11 years ago I was diagnosed w an early stage of cancer and quickly our dating life went from enjoying each other to serious, like if you just want fun then leave kind of serious. Scary for two teenagers who were head over heels in "love" (I "" because we had no idea what that truly meant). In that time I was told I would have a low likelihood of being able to have a child if I waited, having a child without assistance would be unlikely (if even possible) and was encouraged to consider a hysterectomy before 25. Needless to say we began making big plans...

We grew up fast, married young, bought a house, got responsible and very respectable jobs in our fields, I finished college early (Bachelors and Masters in 4 years kind of early) and when the time came to think about trying... I wanted to wait longer. I didn't want to "want" a baby, I wanted to be at a point where I "NEEDED" a baby. Not like wanting like an accessory to my marriage; "I want Kate Spade", "I want new counter tops", "having a baby is the next thing to do in life" or "it might be a good idea to start...." NO. I wanted "I can't breath, eat, sleep, FUNCTION without a baby." We were young. We had lived our lives around the timeline put in our heads by doctors of being able to have a baby instead of enjoying being together and taking adventures. We ended up doing just that instead. We took the risk, what was an incredibly scary one at that time, and enjoyed years of backpacking, nice dinners, nights out, concerts and building our relationship and becoming better friends, partners and teammates. Knowing full well we may be in for the long haul when it came to having a baby. 

Years later I started working at a local hospital and it hit me like a semi. I was admiring this cute girls figure, you know, in that "I hate you for being so damn cute but I'll stare awkwardly in your direction because you are so damn cute" admiring and she turned. BAM! It was over. I cried in my office everytime I saw her. Blubbering, ugly cry, snot and all.  I finally said something to to my husband weeks later who was relieved to hear that the "important thing" I needed to talk about was something good and additionally relieved that we "get to move on now."  9 months later we started trying very optimistically but also realistically prepared for the years, money and possibility that we may never have our own biological children.

We were beyond happy and surprised when we found out we were pregnant. Everything I had been told for years had been washed away in those moments and a wave of 11 years of long awaited relief came. I wasn't as "broken" as my doctors had made it seem and we could move forward without fear of the future for the first time in... Forever. 

The next journey began July 27th, 2014 at 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant... And 7 pregnancy tests later. 

Picture taken @ 4 weeks pregnant